Attachment Parenting: Independent or Entitled Children, Or is there a happy medium?

what I wake up to every morning

     James and I have been arguing the difference between healthy attachment parenting and Steven just training us to do what he wants through unhealthy attachment. Arguing is probably a strong word, James tells me to let Steven cry for a bit if we know that nothing is wrong and I give him puppy-dog eyes because I hate hearing the baby cry. But he has a point, does self soothing at his age (6 weeks) really help his independence as a growing child and later as an adult?
     James worries that we are creating an adult that cannot survive on their own, that complains until they get their way, an entitled individual that perpetuates the entitled generations that we have now. Children, and adults that do not understand hard work or earning their keep or living within their means or having to wait on something. I understand that, and I have seen children grow up who are like that, but I have seen children who seemed very spoiled grow into very independent, individualist adults as well.
     My thoughts are based purely on my childhood. We were not a family that hugged or touched or coddled. My parents divorced when I was seven and while some siblings grow closer during a divorce, my brother and I just pulled into ourselves. Not to say we were freakish and not socialized or had complete inability to carry on social interactions, but we had (and still have) plenty of issues. Even now, I have the hardest time hugging my parents, it generally feels awkward, the same with hugging my brothers. My grandparents, James and the kids are about the only ones that it isn't too weird. I am a one arm hugger for everyone else, to me that is showing the proper social interaction with little commitment. Because of that and knowing how hard it is even now for me to connect to people, I argue that it is more important at this stage of his life to know that we will always be there, that he can trust us to never leave him and if he needs us that we will come. I figure that independence is achieved in a healthy way by children slowly reaching out to try new things on their own with the complete awareness that a parent will always be there to come back to, if needed. I want the kids to know that he can always come back. When they are learning how to walk or swim or ride a bike, they can go as far as they want, but as soon as it is too much, we will be there. When they are older and start driving or dating, if the situation is too much, that we will be there to talk to and sit with. When they are adults, I will cook them dinner on their birthday, we will help them look for interview clothes or a first house or explain the different settings on a drill (I am still figuring it out). But I definitely think that that trust in your parents is built at this age.
     I wish that there was a way to figure out exactly what style of parenting has the best chance of creating a functional adult out of your child, but each child is different let alone never knowing how each will react. In the end, I will completely agree with James on this point, our job is purely and simply to create happy adults.

This was sent to me on Facebook and it is a perfect thing to share:
Promise to My Daughter by Lisa-Jo Baker
    This absolute pulled on my heart strings. A friend from college (who just announced that baby #2 is on the way) shared this on Facebook and I almost didn't even read it. I am so glad that I did. Even though this is to her daughter, the thought is universal no matter the gender of your child. I loved this so much, I loved how it is almost exactly what I tell Steven. He is just realizing that he can fall, so when we put him down he reaches out really quickly. Every time he does that, I tell him that I will always catch him, no matter what. That I will always be there for him when he thinks he is falling or when he is unsure of himself.