Happy New Year: Resolution? Unplug

          

Happy New Year to everyone! From my family to yours, we wish the happiest and healthiest of years. As for us, we will be spending a quiet evening watching the Texas A&M football game against Duke, a spaghetti dinner and sparkling black currant juice at midnight, potentially some homemade apple pie vodka. 

Since it is New Year's, I do feel like I have to share the obligatory resolutions that I have decided to work on. On the top of my list (besides being the best Momma that I can be!) is to unplug. I know coming from a blog where I am obviously connected, this may sound hypocritical but I have set up guidelines to make my life less about being always available and always finding the answer and more about living in the moment. I will (try to) write all my posts on Sundays, my one day where I am free to have my own time with the internet. The rest of the week I want to be available to my kids and to myself. I read articles like this at Click Orlando, this at PsychCentral, and this on the Huffington Post website. 

I sometimes look around and see all four of us attached to electronics and wonder what each of us are thinking that makes it so that whatever is going on in the screen is better than the conversation that we could be having together. Not that it is always as drastic as that but I want to know how everyone's day was either at work or at school, I want the kids to tell me about a book they are reading or to tell me all about the origins of Thanksgiving, or how long division bores G because he knows how to do exponents and square roots, how E loves dolphins and if they are the smartest animals in the world or not. I want to have conversations with my family. I do not want my face glued to the phone screen, scrolling through Pinterest while I am at their concerts, checking Facebook at breakfast, or checking emails at bedtime. That's not what I want the kids to see and that's not who I want to be either. 

Without being connected all the time, I want to find time to finish sewing projects, to paint more, to read tons, to keep the house kept up, and find ways to show Hubby and the kids how much they mean to me. 

To unplug, this is my main goal, but not to just unplug but to reconnect and stay connected to my friends and family in a deeper, more realistic way. 

My 2014 Resolutions:

1. Unplug

2. Read more (reading list to follow)

3. Focus more energy on my Etsy store, KikiGrace

4. Halve my craft stash (destashing crafts are great posts)

5. Exercise 5x week (get back to pregnancy jean size, I am already at pre-baby weight)

6. Pare down my clothing

7. Finally sell/donate/rehome piles that I have been sitting on

8. write more letters

9. more family time

10. Buy a house!!!

Attachment Parenting: Independent or Entitled Children, Or is there a happy medium?

what I wake up to every morning

     James and I have been arguing the difference between healthy attachment parenting and Steven just training us to do what he wants through unhealthy attachment. Arguing is probably a strong word, James tells me to let Steven cry for a bit if we know that nothing is wrong and I give him puppy-dog eyes because I hate hearing the baby cry. But he has a point, does self soothing at his age (6 weeks) really help his independence as a growing child and later as an adult?
     James worries that we are creating an adult that cannot survive on their own, that complains until they get their way, an entitled individual that perpetuates the entitled generations that we have now. Children, and adults that do not understand hard work or earning their keep or living within their means or having to wait on something. I understand that, and I have seen children grow up who are like that, but I have seen children who seemed very spoiled grow into very independent, individualist adults as well.
     My thoughts are based purely on my childhood. We were not a family that hugged or touched or coddled. My parents divorced when I was seven and while some siblings grow closer during a divorce, my brother and I just pulled into ourselves. Not to say we were freakish and not socialized or had complete inability to carry on social interactions, but we had (and still have) plenty of issues. Even now, I have the hardest time hugging my parents, it generally feels awkward, the same with hugging my brothers. My grandparents, James and the kids are about the only ones that it isn't too weird. I am a one arm hugger for everyone else, to me that is showing the proper social interaction with little commitment. Because of that and knowing how hard it is even now for me to connect to people, I argue that it is more important at this stage of his life to know that we will always be there, that he can trust us to never leave him and if he needs us that we will come. I figure that independence is achieved in a healthy way by children slowly reaching out to try new things on their own with the complete awareness that a parent will always be there to come back to, if needed. I want the kids to know that he can always come back. When they are learning how to walk or swim or ride a bike, they can go as far as they want, but as soon as it is too much, we will be there. When they are older and start driving or dating, if the situation is too much, that we will be there to talk to and sit with. When they are adults, I will cook them dinner on their birthday, we will help them look for interview clothes or a first house or explain the different settings on a drill (I am still figuring it out). But I definitely think that that trust in your parents is built at this age.
     I wish that there was a way to figure out exactly what style of parenting has the best chance of creating a functional adult out of your child, but each child is different let alone never knowing how each will react. In the end, I will completely agree with James on this point, our job is purely and simply to create happy adults.

This was sent to me on Facebook and it is a perfect thing to share:
Promise to My Daughter by Lisa-Jo Baker
    This absolute pulled on my heart strings. A friend from college (who just announced that baby #2 is on the way) shared this on Facebook and I almost didn't even read it. I am so glad that I did. Even though this is to her daughter, the thought is universal no matter the gender of your child. I loved this so much, I loved how it is almost exactly what I tell Steven. He is just realizing that he can fall, so when we put him down he reaches out really quickly. Every time he does that, I tell him that I will always catch him, no matter what. That I will always be there for him when he thinks he is falling or when he is unsure of himself.