Remodel: Blue Room Part I

I have the worlds best partner, he deals with so many shenanigans

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

     While the Yellow room is not quite done (I am still trying to find the time to get those dang curtains done), we started painting the now Blue room. This room used to be my younger brother's and his paint choice was Irish flag inspired. Needless to say, that was not quite the idea that I wanted in the room that I would be sleeping in and I figured that we would paint it a little bit more of a fun but kind of neutral color in case my dad resells the house before repainting. We were going to go with a light gray with a slate gray accent wall, but the room is really too small for an accent wall in the way that we were thinking, it also helped that the paint (Glidden Duo, which I totally recommend, no smell, one coat and gorgeous coloring!!!) that we had used covered the obnoxious orange and green with only one coat and no primer!!! It was awesome considering that Hubby had to do most of it while I tended to Baby. The room is 11x11 so we did not want to paint it too dark (which it totally ended up being) and I hate tan or white. I was hoping that the colour was more blue tinted light grey but it ended up being purple tinted medium grey, but we will live with it for now. I am figuring that once I get our blue toned bed set in the room, it will make it seem more blue. On the other hand, it might completely enunciate the purple-ness of the grey.

     We finished the whole room in under three hours, with breaks for Baby and such. I had to go back later on that night to touch up after I pulled all the tape off but we finished much quicker then I had anticipated. Now we just have to move that furniture out so that I can put mine in and it will be just about done. The closet in that room needs handles on the doors and the cedar lining finished but it is a much fancier closet then the one in the Yellow room. 

     So with fingers crossed and the Hubbs home this weekend and the weatherman calling for rain, we should be able to finish up both rooms this weekend. Maybe a nice hike and a movie, too, any suggestions?

Attachment Parenting: Independent or Entitled Children, Or is there a happy medium?

what I wake up to every morning

     James and I have been arguing the difference between healthy attachment parenting and Steven just training us to do what he wants through unhealthy attachment. Arguing is probably a strong word, James tells me to let Steven cry for a bit if we know that nothing is wrong and I give him puppy-dog eyes because I hate hearing the baby cry. But he has a point, does self soothing at his age (6 weeks) really help his independence as a growing child and later as an adult?
     James worries that we are creating an adult that cannot survive on their own, that complains until they get their way, an entitled individual that perpetuates the entitled generations that we have now. Children, and adults that do not understand hard work or earning their keep or living within their means or having to wait on something. I understand that, and I have seen children grow up who are like that, but I have seen children who seemed very spoiled grow into very independent, individualist adults as well.
     My thoughts are based purely on my childhood. We were not a family that hugged or touched or coddled. My parents divorced when I was seven and while some siblings grow closer during a divorce, my brother and I just pulled into ourselves. Not to say we were freakish and not socialized or had complete inability to carry on social interactions, but we had (and still have) plenty of issues. Even now, I have the hardest time hugging my parents, it generally feels awkward, the same with hugging my brothers. My grandparents, James and the kids are about the only ones that it isn't too weird. I am a one arm hugger for everyone else, to me that is showing the proper social interaction with little commitment. Because of that and knowing how hard it is even now for me to connect to people, I argue that it is more important at this stage of his life to know that we will always be there, that he can trust us to never leave him and if he needs us that we will come. I figure that independence is achieved in a healthy way by children slowly reaching out to try new things on their own with the complete awareness that a parent will always be there to come back to, if needed. I want the kids to know that he can always come back. When they are learning how to walk or swim or ride a bike, they can go as far as they want, but as soon as it is too much, we will be there. When they are older and start driving or dating, if the situation is too much, that we will be there to talk to and sit with. When they are adults, I will cook them dinner on their birthday, we will help them look for interview clothes or a first house or explain the different settings on a drill (I am still figuring it out). But I definitely think that that trust in your parents is built at this age.
     I wish that there was a way to figure out exactly what style of parenting has the best chance of creating a functional adult out of your child, but each child is different let alone never knowing how each will react. In the end, I will completely agree with James on this point, our job is purely and simply to create happy adults.

This was sent to me on Facebook and it is a perfect thing to share:
Promise to My Daughter by Lisa-Jo Baker
    This absolute pulled on my heart strings. A friend from college (who just announced that baby #2 is on the way) shared this on Facebook and I almost didn't even read it. I am so glad that I did. Even though this is to her daughter, the thought is universal no matter the gender of your child. I loved this so much, I loved how it is almost exactly what I tell Steven. He is just realizing that he can fall, so when we put him down he reaches out really quickly. Every time he does that, I tell him that I will always catch him, no matter what. That I will always be there for him when he thinks he is falling or when he is unsure of himself.

Monday Recap: Couplehood and the Perfect Mate

     Yesterday was James' first day at his new store, while he had been in the store over a year ago, a lot of things have changed including the entire management team that he would be part of now. It was a little stressful and while he is trying to figure out where he will fit in, I am attempting, probably unsuccessfully, to keep the stress that I cause him to a minimum. 
     Yesterday, I tried to be loving and caring but we are trying to get over a bump in our relationship. The way we socialize with other people is so very different that it can sometimes lead to confusion and a complete miscommunication. I am a rather introverted person, so when he spends a lot of time talking to other people, I feel abandoned. He is very much an extrovert, an amazing personality, and great charisma, all things that I find so very attractive, unfortunately so do a lot of other people. As far as his work is concerned, it has made his job so much easier, but socially I am the one with the problem generally. I am happy keeping my social group to five or so people and never really branching out, it is something that I am working on. I was making some headway while I went back to school, but since staying home getting ready for baby and now with baby all day, my socializing has shrunk considerably. Since James tries very hard to make me happy, I think he has been subduing his extrovert nature to try and meld more to my introverted ways but it tends to make neither one of us happy. 
     So we did end up having a conversation when he came home because he noticed me acting odd. But we talked and came to a bit of an understanding. We then talked about his work and his new coworkers, moving (yes it is still in the plan book), the kids (I am too strict and he is too lax), cooking and television. We made up and went to relax and watch television for a few hours, while I am not a huge television person and if we never had tv when we have our own house, I will not miss anything, I do understand how watching something that your partner enjoys can be a bonding activity. He watches True Blood with me (omg the season finale on Sunday was crazy) and last night we watched Monday Night Raw together. I like watching the characters and talking about the storyline with him, while I would rather watch Property Brothers reruns (they are so very lumberjack sexy) or back episodes of Doctor Who, once in a while I can handle wrestling if it means connecting with him about something that he enjoys. We went to bed relatively at the same time, which hasn't been happening lately-another point in the earlier conversation- and spent a quiet night, all three of us cuddled up in bed. Although, James supposedly was less comfortable because Steven and I tend to be bed hogs. James woke up today with his entire back side hanging off the bed, me snuggled as close to him as possible and Steven with an entire half of a queen size bed. 
     When we laugh about silly things like that, all still together in bed, I have such deep seeded love for this man who has given me a family to be proud of, encouraged me to grow in every aspect of my life and loves me for the person that I am, even when I don't know who that is. He is so strong so much of the time and I hate when he needs me to be strong and I get too worried about overcooking the pasta, or finishing a load of laundry to let him vent to me from time to time. I am so much of a better person than when he and I met, but I love that he needs me and that makes me want to be an even better person for him, every single day of our lives together. I am grateful down to my core for him.