Again thanks to Chasing Happy for hosting this thankful linkup.
Today's prompt, "A role that you've played," was a little more difficult for me then yesterday's prompt. I am thankful for being able to be a partner to my wonderful fiance, thankful for being the "favorite" granddaughter to my Pappy and Nana, thankful for being the only sister to six brothers and mother to my wonderful baby, Steven. But I think the role that I am most thankful for is that of stepmother.
I met James' two children when they were two and four year of age, so I wasn't there when they were babies but I have seen them grow over the past five years. It is the hardest thing that I have done, almost harder then being a birth mother, is carefully treading the water of being a stepmother, especially when their own mother is very loving and very involved. I had a really hard time coming to terms with being the stepmother for the first two years that James and I were together, I loved being the fun person but I am a strong believer that children need schedules and routines, which turns me into the strict, mean one (according to Hubby). I have my own Type A, obsessive personality that does not coincide well with children to begin with, but I have grown so much as a person, become so much more patient (I had none to begin with), understanding and I listen so much better then I did when we first met.
James' daughter, (my stepdaughter or my soul-daughter, as James calls her) was the easier fit when we first met. I was fun, with crazy coloured hair, cool clothes, danced in public and I wore a cat collar as a necklace so for a two year old girl who wore tutus and pink cowboy boots regularly, it wasn't hard to get along. As she has gotten older and started acting like much more of a teenage, we have conflicted a little more. James says that I am harder on her, more strict and hold her to high standards, which may be true. I worry about the culture of lowered expectations for girls, that it is okay to just be cute or pretty, but I want her to know that it is just as important to be kind and to be smart. I am thankful that she has taught me how important it is for girls to have positive role models, she has taught me to see the world through the eyes of a little girl (I hated pink, glitter, and dresses as a girl) and I hope that she has the patience in the future to help me learn more patience and to breathe before acting.
Hubby's son, on the other hand, was a much harder sell. I was scared to push too hard, he was quiet, a little angry and very set on being with his father, understandably so. I have six brothers, so I always figured that I would sync so well with a son, but it was so much harder than I had expected. It wasn't until recently that he and I have started to have our own inside jokes, our own conversations, our own little system and agreement on how our relationship should be. It started with him learning how to spell and we would play the spelling game. Hubby or I would give him a word and he would try spelling it. He wanted harder and harder words, to the point where I was just reading words out of the dictionary to challenge him more. Since then, we have settled that we are both good spellers, so we have that in common. He and I both get ready quickly when we have somewhere to do, while James and Eve take their time. Griffin and I call them the Delinquents now, because of their shared lackadaisical attitude sometimes. Grif and I both tend to be a little more serious and introverted naturally so I know where he is coming from. As I have gotten older, I am trying to become more of an extrovert, but naturally I just need quiet me-time. I am thankful that Grif has taught me that boys come with their own basket of problems, but none are insolvable. He has taught me how much fun video games can be, that sometimes it is okay to just wear sweatpants and no socks every single day (it is no reason to increase blood pressure over) and that being a stepmother can just be as simple as being companion souls sharing life's journey together and not overbearing, anal retentive craziness, at least most of the time.
So thank you, Eve and Griffin, for helping me to learn how hard and how easy it can be to be a stepmother, that we aren't all evil, and that there is always enough room in my heart to love our happily blended family.
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